Last night, my head was preoccupied with last-minute work on a special project and putting the finishing touches on a post. My husband Tom and I had also been discussing the logistics of possibly attending BlogHer Food 2010 in San Francisco. These were the things that weighed on my mind.
A mere hour or so later—an instant, really—we were outside, in our shirts and shorts, watching our house crumble as it was engulfed in flames. I’ll never forget that hissing and crackling noise as my husband’s home of almost 30 years practically disintegrated before our eyes.
But we were safe. All of us. Our son Tim, without hesitation, ran back inside when he realized his grandmother was sleeping upstairs. By the time he got to her, it was too late to try and exit the house the same way he came in. Fortunately, Tom had devised a fire escape plan years ago, and Tim was able to bodily carry his feeble 82-year-old grandmother out the window, onto the roof, and eventually down on the deck. The sight of this brave son of mine carrying his grandmother as he ran down the lawn and away from the house is one I will never forget.
Obviously, none of us slept last night. We are fortunate to belong to a congregation that is as close to us as family, and one of our dear friends drove to our house last night to pick us up and take us to her home, which is where I sit right now, typing this.
The magnitude of the loss is almost too much to comprehend in its entirety. So last night, I mentally walked through all the rooms in the house, taking stock of what was valuable in that room, and then systematically making peace with the loss. I said goodbye to my new MacBook Pro, my 500GB drive of photographs, another 500GB drive of music files. My purse, with all my identification cards, and all the car keys—car keys that are useless anyway, since the flames have likely taken our cars too. Our passports and birth certificates. My husband’s prosthetic leg, without which he is unable to freely move around. Our shoes, all our clothes, and our musical equipment. My engagement ring and my wedding ring, and a gold bracelet passed on to me by my mother on my wedding day.
My baby pictures, which are the only remaining proof that once upon a time, I was actually cute. My iPod Touch, the value of which is immeasurable because it held all my half-finished songs, poems, and writings.
But when I weigh it all against the value of being able to hold my husband’s hand and my son’s hand last night as we said a family prayer of thanks for our survival, as well as a petition for strength to deal with the days to come, and the fact that this morning, I woke up to a day with both of them still with me, then I still think I got the better end of the deal.
Oh, and I’m sorry there are no photos in this post. You see, my beloved Canon 5D and all those lenses I had? They’re gone too.
Which stings, I’ll admit. But all I have to do is throw a glance my family’s way and yep, I’m still blessed.
I cannot comprehend what you are going though, but it is amazing to hear the strength in your words.
I’m reading through this again and still can’t believe it! First of all – WOW! – for your son’s heroic efforts. And I’m so glad everyone made it out safe. You’re in my prayers. Hang in there! :(
[...] of need, if you haven’t had the time to read and contribute to Erika, from The Ivory Hut, you can read her devastating story. It’s in times like these that friends need to pitch in [...]
[...] can easily hinder me and clog up my home, time and being. Because we all know, it can be gone in an instant. So, I’m getting rid of the excess reminding myself that I love handmade, I love trash to [...]
Erika – I understand what you are going through. My sister’s house burnt down when her kids were young (9 & 10) back in 1993. Because they were with me in another town, the 10 year old refused to come to our house for a visit as it was a constant reminder of what happened that day and there was fear that it would happen again. Now 26 & 27, the pain is gone and my sister rebuilt a better house on another piece of her 33 acres – all is good. Sadly in 1997 my husband lost his best friend in a house fire and that pain took years to get over. Our youngest child is named after that friend and we still wonder today what kinda family he would have had and what he would be doing now. Thank God that you are safe – everything else can be replaced.
this is my first time visiting your blog- i am here via “the nester”…
just wanted to send a huge hug to you and your family.
my name is also Erika (with a k!) and I was in a terrible fire in June of 2000. I also lost everything material I had ever owned…my parents’ wedding rings, all my journals that I had kept over the course of my life, my prized cello, all my clothing…just everything.
I walked away without a stitch of material possessions, but I had my LIFE still intact. And for that, I feel so blessed.
The past ten years have been spent rebuilding. There are many “things” that are not replaceable, but at the end of the day they are just things.
Be gentle with yourself. I had nightmares for a long time, and became terrified of fires (candles, etc.), and had a hard time coping with life for quite some time after the fire (fears, etc.)…
As someone who has lived through a devastating fire, I just wanted to lend you a little support this morning.
Many many hugs to you…
Love,
Erika
http://www.theurthmama.com
P.S. this is a post I wrote on my blog about my fire (9 years later): http://www.theurthmama.com/2009/03/fire_9781.html
this is my first time visiting your blog- i am here via “the nester”…
just wanted to send a huge hug to you and your family.
my name is also Erika (with a k!) and I was in a terrible fire in June of 2000. I also lost everything material I had ever owned…my parents’ wedding rings, all my journals that I had kept over the course of my life, my prized cello, all my clothing…just everything.
I walked away without a stitch of material possessions, but I had my LIFE still intact. And for that, I feel so blessed.
The past ten years have been spent rebuilding. There are many “things” that are not replaceable, but at the end of the day they are just things.
Be gentle with yourself. I had nightmares for a long time, and became terrified of fires (candles, etc.), and had a hard time coping with life for quite some time after the fire (fears, etc.)…
As someone who has lived through a devastating fire, I just wanted to lend you a little support this morning.
Many many hugs to you…
Love,
Erika
P.S. this is a post I wrote on my blog about my fire (9 years later): http://www.theurthmama.com/2009/03/fire_9781.html
this is my first time visiting your blog- i am here via “the nester”…
just wanted to send a huge hug to you and your family.
my name is also Erika (with a k!) and I was in a terrible fire in June of 2000. I also lost everything material I had ever owned…my parents’ wedding rings, all my journals that I had kept over the course of my life, my prized cello, all my clothing…just everything.
I walked away without a stitch of material possessions, but I had my LIFE still intact. And for that, I feel so blessed.
The past ten years have been spent rebuilding. There are many “things” that are not replaceable, but at the end of the day they are just things.
Be gentle with yourself. I had nightmares for a long time, and became terrified of fires (candles, etc.), and had a hard time coping with life for quite some time after the fire (fears, etc.)…
As someone who has lived through a devastating fire, I just wanted to lend you a little support this morning.
Many many hugs to you…
Love,
Erika
I’m so glad that you were able to make it out safely. My children and I were home alone on April 4th, our first day in our new house. Ny husband was at our old apartment getting a last load of things. It didn’t take more than four minutes, according to the EMT records, for the fire to spread from one bedroom to the house being gone. People keep telling me how brave I was, but I repeated what you said, that we were blessed to all be out safely. The rest is just stuff.
I won’t say the next few months were easy, but holding each other made up for a lot. Don’t be ashamed to accept help. And give your son an extra hug from me — I’m proud of him, too.
Thinking of you & your family.
[...] escaped from her burning house nor will they replace her lost wages or pictures on hard drives. Read her firsthand account of what happened and visit the site set up by Maggy and Alice to read more updates as well as donate. Erika’s [...]
Hi Erika, I’ve never visited your blog before, but I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry that this happened to you and your family (or any family). As a young girl, I watched a fire light up in my mother’s kitchen that destroyed that part of the house. It terrified me, so I can only partially imagine what happened to you all and how you must feel.
Thank God no one was hurt and your son sounds like the kind of man I want my son to be if I ever have one…
Stella
sending prayers to you and your family in this challenging time.
Ericka,
I am so sorry for your loss and so moved by your writing… I am grateful for such a sensitive soul who wanders the earth..I will keep you and your loved ones in my heart and prayers..Sandy
You are in our prayers! May God’s love and strength surround you during this difficult time.
I just came over from the Nester. Thank you so much for being real. You are teaching so many so much through your words. I pray God gives you the strength and peace to continue to live these words day by day when I’m sure the enemy will try to tempt you into pity parties and there will be times that the grief feels new again. You are a blessing to those of us privileged to read your words. Thank you! Kelly
So sorry to hear of your loss, and so glad your family, including your son and his grandmother, are all safe.
I’m read your post almost a month late. I’ve read the posts after this one and I’m glad you’re picking up wonderfully.
I’m at a loss for words to communicate my sympathy. But know that it’s there.
OMG – I don’t know you. I got here via Pioneer Woman, whom I love. Tears are just streaming down my face as I read this post, and I am getting up right now to go make a fire escape plan with my beloved husband and 3 children. Thank you, thank you for sharing this. May the Universe bring you more than you ever lost.
Much love,
Mandy Wildman Porter
Somehow I missed this post at the time, but wanted to know I’ll say a prayer for yall that things are trying to get back to normal. Glad everyone’s safe.
I just stumbled across your blog coming from Th Pioneer Woman and have been wandering around enjoying it…until I got to this post.
I’m rally sorry to hear (read?) about the fire. I do know how you feel…my house burned to the ground in October of 2008, and the feeling of loss was tremendous. All my childrens’ pictures…the only pictures I had of my parents…everything. I have heard the only loss that is felt harder than one’s home burning is the death of a loved one.
I am glad that you and I knew we had all the strength we needed standing beside us holding our hand. God gives us nothing we can’t handle.
Hi Ericka,
I’m sorry to hear what has happened to your home. I am so glad that you and your family were safe and sound, your son is so brave. I hope that rebuilding runs smoothly.
Erika…just want to say that you are truly truly blessed…..:)
love and best wishes always!!!
[...] rally around each other. Last September, when Ivory Hut’s house burned down and her family lost everything, her friends started a fund to help her get back on her [...]
[...] happens to share a best friend with me, has had the most unimaginable thing happen to her. Erika of IvoryHut lost her home and everything she owned, including the cameras she used to take all the amazing [...]
[...] of Ivory Hut, who suffered her own tremendous loss last year, has been organizing care packages for Jennie and her daughters. With the incredible [...]
[...] heard that Erika (of the blog Ivory Hut) had lost her house and all of her possessions in a fire. She wrote about it on her site, which was one of the only things she had left. Within hours, the blogging community banded [...]