My recovery schedule

I haven’t been up to posting anything the past week or so, because I’ve been incredibly busy. It’s so difficult to get anything done when your day is jampacked with activities. What? You don’t believe me, you say?

Just to prove my point, here’s what my schedule has been like:

• 6:30AM – Wake up to take a couple of Motrin tablets. Spill water on the nightstand trying to reach for the Motrin without opening my eyes. Decide water will dry on its own. Put earphones on and have a long discussion with my tongue about the dangers of playing with the stitches in my mouth. Fall asleep shortly thereafter, with tongue still unconvinced.

• 8:37AM – Get out of bed, head downstairs to make some tea. Stare at dishes in sink, wondering if I can will them to march themselves into the dishwasher.

• 10:13AM – Notice I have a headache from staring at dishes for 1 1/2 hours. Suddenly remember tea and drink lukewarm spiced chai along with one Motrin tablet. Start playing Sudoku on the couch while waiting for the Motrin to kick in. Fall asleep, dream that I’m chopping down a big tree and Fantasia suddenly appears to sing while I cut down the tree.

• 2:30PM – Wake up in pain because I accidentally slept on the swollen side of my cheek. Get up from couch to make scrambled eggs, and eat the eggs but imagine that I’m having a BLT instead. Then do a lukewarm saltwater oral rinse and imagine that it’s a Snickers bar instead.

• 3:35PM – Eye the Vicodin that the doctor prescribed but decide to stop being a baby and suck it up for once. Decide that I really am a bit of a baby, strike a compromise and take just one Motrin. Then go lie down for a moment and wonder when will they ever start showing new House, M.D. episodes again. Fall asleep and dream that I’m driving on a race track and Hugh Laurie is in my pit crew, making sure that no one steals my tires because I just bought them from Costco the other day.

• 7:30PM – Wake up groggy, wonder for a moment what in the world my couch is doing in a race track. Gain some lucidity and watch a bit of the news. Feel an odd sense of deja vu when they show a clip of Fantasia singing in the entertainment news.

• 8:15PM – Have some homemade mushroom soup for dinner, eying the garlic bread that’s still too crusty for me to eat. Notice that the dishes are somehow gone from the sink, and wonder if maybe I do have telepathic powers after all.

• 8:40PM – Another saltwater oral rinse, then an antibiotic oral rinse, followed by half an hour spent very very carefully brushing my teeth and avoiding the surgical area. Then take two more Motrin tablets and head to the couch, because oral hygiene can really get exhausting.

• 9:40PM – Do some reading to take my mind off the throbbing pain, and somehow fall asleep again. Dream that I’m running down the street being chased by a white horse, and I have to duck into a pizza parlor that serves Chinese dumplings because the horse is scared of chopsticks and won’t come inside the store.

• 1:30AM – Wake up with a sudden urge for pizza with pineapple. Take two more Motrin tablets and hope that the horse doesn’t come back to chase me when I fall back asleep.

I rest my case.

(Despite my killer schedule, I’ve still managed to squeeze in a little bit of camera time. I’ll be posting my Project 365 backlog shortly.)